Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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