Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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