You're so nebulous sometimes
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
