i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
