Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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