rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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