Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
