Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize