I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
