Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
