If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
