Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
