HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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