Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
