Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
