Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
