i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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