Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The best revenge is premature balding
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
