he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
