sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
