There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
