i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
