Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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