I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
