I hate your face
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
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