I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Everything about him screamed your future.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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