I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
