I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wish you could order shots online.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
