Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
