I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
