the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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