You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
