Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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