so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
