He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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