I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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