new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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