I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I want a musical about memes.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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