Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
