I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
