I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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