Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
