Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
