so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
