omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
