Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
