why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
