escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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