lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
