Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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