She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
