he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
