He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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