Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
