But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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