I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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